Plastic (not so) fantastic! A horror story of todays plastic society

So there I was, in the middle of Bargin-Mart, reluctantly doing my Christmas shopping (something I’d been hoping to put off for a few more weeks but since they were having a sale...) anyway, that’s when I noticed it. “Noticed what?” you might be asking. Well just hold your horses, I’m getting to it. Plastic! It is everywhere. Whatever happened to the good old days when things were made out of more reliable materials like wood and metal? These days everything is made out of cheap plastic crap! I needed to by a new dining table and chairs but all I could find was this pathetic plastic rubbish which broke when I sat on it (and no, it’s not just because I’m fat). They just don’t make things like they used to. Back in my day I could pick up my television and smash it on the ground and it wouldn’t even dent because it was made out of good old wood and metal. Now that I have a new (probably plastic) TV I can’t just pick it up and throw it around whenever I feel like it because it’s too breakable (so there goes my Friday night entertainment).  And also, I don’t know what to get Mr.McNugget for Christmas. I don’t want to get him some cheap plastic toy that he’s going to go and break in five minutes. By crikey I don’t know! I hate Christmas. It’s just a huge big over-commercialised phoney holiday which I always have to spend with Ma in the retierment home.        (I swear I only do it for the presents).

Here’s a picture sent in by some little siht cheeky kid who likes Christmas way too much:

Ugh.

My new girlfriend

That’s right, that’s right! I have a new girlfriend... well, had a new girlfriend actually. Let me explain: It all started at the hospital. There was this nurse, Vunchesca (she was Russian or something), and everything about her was beautiful; her eyes, her hair, her smile. It was love at first sight (well, for me it was anyway, I didn’t realise until later that she’d played me for a fool). I didn’t even think I could feel love for anyone but Mr.McNugget, especially after my horrible ex-wife left me because I told her that she was too fat and she smelled funny (what’s wrong with a little creative criticism?). Anyway, as soon as I got out of the hospital I asked her to move in with me. She screamed and told me that she didn’t even know me. She was right! In my haste to start my 4-step plan to get her to marry me I’d forgotten that I hadn’t even introduced myself. But I couldn’t let her get away! So I put on my best Charlie Sheen voice (he’s always a hit with the ladies) and told her who I was and then proceeded to kiss her. I ended up taking an eyeful of pepper spray! As I lay in the gutter outside the hospital writhing in pain (and nearly being run over) I knew I’d blown it with Vunchesca. I picked myself up and started off home. But sadly, my vision was a bit blurry from the mace and I ended up stumbling out onto the road and being hit by a car. Obviously I survived (or else I wouldn’t be blogging about it). I wasn’t badly hurt (just a bit of internal bleeding I think) but I lay on the ground and moaned in pain. I put on quite the dramatic show hoping that I would be able to sue the person who viciously ran me down while I was crossing the street. Sadly there were no witnesses so my performance was unnecessary.  But then the unimaginable happened- out of the car came a reasonably attractive woman (not as hot as Vunchesca but still doable). I was in love all over again.  But when I asked her to move in with me she had the same reaction as Vunchesca (except instead of using pepper spray she used her whole handbag to hit me with). I was, yet again, left in the gutter to die. But as it turns out Mr.McNugget was joyriding in my car again (that little bugger!) and he found me and took me home. And I vowed that I would find love someday never attempt to love anyone again.

Here is my fail-proof (unless you’re me) 4-step plan to get someone to marry you:

Step 1: Ask them to move in with you. If they don’t want to do this then you move in with them (secretly if you have to).

Step 2: Test their cooking and house cleaning skills. If they are not good at either of these things then you probably don’t want to marry them.

Step 3: Tell them lies that will make you seen more attractive. E.g. “Every other guy in town has AIDS.” Or “I am actually a millionaire.” Or “I buy gifts for sick children at the orphanage.”

Step 4: Pop the question in such a way that they can’t say no or if they do they will end up really embarrassed. E.g. Get up on stage at a concert and ask them to marry you in front of a huge crowd (preferably at a rock concert where the crowd might beat them to death if they say no). Or ask them in front of their closest friends and family (who will lose all respect for them if they don’t say yes).

Just follow this fail-proof guide and you’ll be happily married in no time! (ComplainativeBastard will not be held responsible if the plan fails and you end up bleeding in a gutter somewhere. Terms and conditions may apply).

I should not be doing this right now...

Many of you young fans may have been wondering why I haven’t been updating my bog lately. Well, that is because I’ve just had a short stint in hospital. Yes, that is right, I -The invincible ComplainativeBastard- was in hospital.

It all started on Sunday the 6^th of November. I’d just finished two consecutive blog posts -ranting about ComplainativeMan and his nefarious antics –and I had spent three hours sitting at my computer, Blogging, watching missed episodes of Home and Away, and Google searching pointless things. But when I got up out of my chair I felt very light-headed (which is strange, my head is usually quite heavy because my head is actually bigger than normal and very disproportionate to the rest of my body) and after taking a couple of steps towards the bathroom (I really needed to pee, six cups of coffee and three straight hours of sitting will do that to you) I fell right onto...The couch, (narrowly missing my sharp dagger display, toxic waste pool and pile of broken glass) thank goodness, I was safe... But then I passed out.

Thankfully, Mr.McNugget (ever so faithful) managed to call an ambulance. I was rushed to hospital. In the E.R., the doctors so smartly diagnosed me with “Hyperscreenoptichtricia.” I wasn’t so sure, it sounded made up to me. Anyway, they said that I needed to stay in the hospital for a few days just in case I had anymore dizzy spells. I wasn’t pleased about this but they said that the food was free so I consented. Once I was tucked safely in my bed the doctor explained to me what Hyperscreenoptichtricia was. As it turns out Hyperscreenoptichtricia is a condition that you get from watching too much Television, Computer or Gaming. The symptoms are dizziness, fainting, random fits of anger, square eyes, involuntarily falling asleep, rude and annoying flatulence, slow reflexes, loss  of hearing, raging headaches, bouts of diarrhea and constipation, swelling of the eyeballs, sneezing, extreme hunger, weight gain, continuous complaining, hallucinations, clumsiness and itching. I was stunned, I had all the symptoms. I’d always thought it was just because I was old, but now I know the truth. I have Hyperscreenoptichtricia. The doctor also told me that I was no longer allowed to watch Television, play Playstation or Blog. I lied and said that I would not do any of these things. The doc’ seemed pleased with my obedience and proceeded to hand me the TV remote, before leaving the room. Was this guy for real? He’d just spent half an hour lecturing me on the dangers of watching television with my condition and what does he go and do? He hands me the controlling devise for the TV on the wall right in front of my bed. Well, I guess that watching TV is all that there is to do when one is in hospital. But still! That doctor was an idiot! And I was stuck watching daytime television for a whole week!

It wasn’t all bad, though, Mr.McNugget came and visited me (he wanted to take photos but I wouldn't let him because of how terrible I looked). And there was a lot of complaining to do. From toilets to pudding cups, if there was something wrong with it, I was complaining about it. But eventually they got sick of me and I was sent back home.

PS. When I got home I found that Mr.McNugget had been throwing parties without me knowing and he’d trashed the place. Little ratbag!

PPS. Hospital pudding sucks!

Complainative Man- a small poem.

You are a nut!
You have a RubbrButt!
Every time you turn around
It goes putt putt!

Nyah nyah nyah-nyah nyah!

This is what I was going to write. But then, I thought, because I'm older and therefore more sophisticated, it would just be petty of me.
I'm being the bigger person.
Complainative Man, YOU CAN SUCK IT! You little toilet seat face!

Complainative Man- at it again!

I'm so incensed with rage! This "Complainative Man" is stealing all my endorsment deals! I was signed  up to endorse the New Rubber toilet seats, manufactured by Rubbr and co. They were going to have my face on the cover! Unfortunately, they wanted a younger, more attractive looking man (I don't know what the problem is? I'm pretty spiffing for my age!) and Complainiative Man was quick to sign up. Apparantly it restricts people's bowel movements to look at "ugly old faces" while using the toilet. So I am unsure as to why they wish Complainative Man to be the face of RubbrButt. Not that I care, anyway. I still have my pickle endorsement job to go back to.


For those of you who don't remember, I scored this gig to encourage people to buy lots of pickles to survive the end of the world.

Halloween

Last week I decided that Mr.McNugget and I would celebrate Halloween. We don't usually celebrate it but it was on a Friday night and we were bored. As it was a bit of a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing we didn't have any costumes organised and we had to improvise. Mr.McNugget wanted to go as a Vampire and since I didn't have much to choose from I had to go in the old clothes that I stole from a poor vagrant on the street one day:

It looks totally authentic!

We had to shave off all Mr.McNugget's fur to achieve this look.
...So with our costumes sorted we went off trick-or-treating. And then found out we'd gotten the day wrong and Halloween was about five days ago (damn!). But luckily, because of my costume, everyone thought I was a homeless person and gave me free food (score!). We managed to bag ourselves six casseroles, three bags of fruit, and ten loaves of bread. That ought to keep us fed for a good week or so.

Mr.McNuggets Hangover

Yes, yes. Poor Mr.McNugget partied hard last night too. He's very hungover:

Mr.McNugget and his cat friends at the party.



Last night he passed out on the couch, drunk.

The mother of all cat hangovers this morning.

The Hangover

Last night I decided to throw a party. As it turns out, that wasn't a very good idea. Today I am very hungover on account of last night drinking games. But the party was totally OFF THE HOOK! Mr.McNugget set up a karaoke set and everyone partied until 5am... at least I think they did (honestly, I can't remember most of it) but looking at the photos, I think it was pretty awesome!

 

My Mother

Today I went to the nursing home to visit my mother. Something I haven't done since I turned 80 (mostly because I'm scared they might try to put me in a home) but I thought I'd start making an effort because my old mother is probably going to die soon (yay) and I want to suck up to her so I can get a lot of inheritance money. It'll actually be about another 50 years before the old bag carks it, but I want to get in there before my older brother, Unis, does. I have to make sure that I'm the favourite son so I can get more inheritance than him. It will be tough, though, that old bag is a bit of a complainer (where do you think I got my talent from? My father? I don't think so) and it's very difficult to please her... but I think I can pull it off. So long as Mr.McNugget doesn't get anywhere near her. Ever since the first day, when I rescued him from the Chinese Takeout Store and brought him home with me, she's hated him. Poor mother came home from a hard day working as a receptionist at the Rubber Band Factory to find that young Mr.McNugget had taken a poo in her favourite pair of slippers. It was my fault that he had diarrhoea (I thought that it was a good idea to feed him ice-cream). But anyway, I have to go now, Mother wants a cup of tea.
Stupid old hag...
Also, she thinks that my blog is stupid...
Grr...

This is my mother, isn't she charming?
Not really.

CompalinativeBastard comics

Yes that's right. You heard it here first. They are now making comics about me! Check out this one I found:

Every day I'm...

Shuffling! I told you I'd keep you posted. As it so happens, I got so good at shuffling that I'm replacing Fly Glue as back up dancer in LMFHO's (Laughing My F**king Head Off) new music video- "My Genius is Showing". It's so awesome, I get to dance with the famous Ned Roo! Check it out:

High School

Today I received a phone call. But at the time I was in my home gym, working out on my abs-circle-pro system and lifting weights so I didn’t bother to pick up. Sadly they rang again later. I was reluctant to answer it because I thought it might be my mother, calling to try and get me to visit her again. She thinks I don’t visit her enough (which is ridiculous because I visited her a few years ago on her 125^th birthday). Luckily, it was not my mother but my old high school principal, yikes! (I was about to hang up right then and there but I was curious about how he was still alive, the dodgy old bastard). As it turns out, I never properly graduated high school. Apparently I cheated in a maths exam in my last year and should not have passed. I told him to prove it (he never liked me and I think he’s lying), he does. He sends a video to my iPhone of me copying off someone else’s paper. It looks pretty legit’ (sadly) and so, I have to return to high school.

High School. Need I say more? You all know how horrible it is! How the teachers think they know it all when in fact, they’re just a bunch of dumb-asses. How the other students bully you if you do something they don’t approve of or think is un-cool (apparently like placing a framed picture of myself and Mr. McNugget on my desk). But after a hard day of complaining at the teachers and slacking off in class, I was finally accepted into a group- the cool kids! They actually did. For some reason they were impressed with a bit of half arsed complaining (thought it was bad ass or something). I was one of the popular kids for all of 5 minutes until they kicked me out! (Something about me hitting on the cool dudes girlfriend) I think they were just intimidated by my being better looking than them. Oh well! I managed to find an even cooler group of friends. One of them is in the Debating team and the other is in the Chess club (I’m not sure what either of those are but they sound pretty cool).

Here’s a picture of me and my cool new friends:

Sushi

Recently someone has told me that I'm overweight and very unfit (but what would he know? He's only a Doctor) I don't usually take other peoples advice on board but when I caught a look at myself in the mirror yesterday I thought it would be a good idea to start eating healthy. You see, I'm trying to fit into a tight pair of skinny jeans for my upcoming Rocker phase and so far  it's not working. Anyway, I decided to get some Sushi for lunch. Mr.McNugget was a little too keen though, and ended up putting too much Wasabi on his. He didn't like it much as you can see in this picture here:

Poor bugger. But from now on I think we're going to stick to my favourite fast food, McRonalds, it's the healthier option.

Mrs Harper (In Memoriam)

Dear old Mrs Harper was found unconscious in her house this morning. It seems that she was actually eating the apple crumble that I was lacing with rat poison, razor blades and laxatives, and even though the poison I was using is generally unharmful in small doses, the frequency of her consuming it caused the pathways to her brain to stop responding causing a small but damaging miscommunication to her brain, which caused a flaw in her sighting. Or something. The good news is that she underwent brain surgery and was fine within a few hours. But on the way back to her house she was hit by a bus.
R.I.P Mrs Harper. I always loved you. (Even though I always said I hated you, I didn't really mean it, you know that right? Just a bit of a laugh?)
Anyway, I wonder if the new episode of Ghost Whisperer is on TV.

Diary of a Complainative Bastard

Today I wake up to the irksome sound of Mr.McNugget coughing up a hairball at 5 in the morning. He does this every day. It's because he is so hairy, whenever he licks himself he ends up ingesting half the fur on his body. I plan to fix this by shaving off all his fur. But right now the clippers are worn out from my monthly foot hair trimming. So I add 'hair clippers' to my already large and expensive shopping list.
Breakfast. All that is left in the fridge is half a tin of cat food and an apple crumble that my neighbour, Mrs Harper, brought me yesterday. I make a choice. Cat food it is! I don't like Mrs Harper and I know that she secretly hates me too (even though she acts like she doesn't). I am afraid that she may have laced the crumble with laxatives or rat poison. I grab a couple of bowls (from the sink full of already dirty dishes) they look clean enough. I serve up breakfast. We eat. Just me and Mr.McNugget. Then I get ready to start the day.
Starting the day. I shave, shower and put on clothes then go to the toilet in anticipation of my daily bowel movement. Forget to wash my hands. Pocket my shopping list and car keys and head out the door...
I forgot something. Go back inside and take the apple crumble out of the fridge. Lace it with laxatives (even though it probably already is) and re-heat it a little in the microwave. Then I head out the door again (grinning evilly to myself) and take the crumble over to Mrs Harpers house. Smile politely as I hand her the crumble. Tell her how delicious her crumble was and I thought I'd bake one for her. Then I leave with the knowledge that this silly charade has been going on for 5 months now and I'm pretty sure that was the original crumble she gave me and it has been passed back and forth between us about 100 times becoming fuller and fuller of laxatives, rat poison, razor blades and various other dangerous things.
Shopping. I drive for 2 minutes. Arrive at the grocery store. It’s a disgustingly grungy place that smells like cow poo, petrol and urine. But they always have cheap deals like half price yogurt and other dairy product that are past their use by date, so this is where I shop. I get offered drugs by the shady emo kid who is always loitering outside the store. I am appalled (that he didn’t have any cocaine) so I take some weed. I do my shopping and head over the checkout. The checkout guy is ugly (just saying xoxoxox). I pay for my groceries ($87 what a rip off!) and then voice all my complaints by filling out a lot of customer review forms. On my way home I purchase a daily Keno lottery ticket and then sit down to watch the draw.
Daily Keno draw. I did not win (figures). I cry for two hours and then sit down to blog about my day.
Just Saying :) xoxoxoxoxo

Wash day!

It's that time of the month again. All you ladies know what I mean... It's time to wash Mr.McNugget (why, what were you thinking of?). Once a month there comes the time when I have to give Mr.McNugget a bath. I must warn you: it is NOT fun. He kicks, screams, bites and tries to claw out your eyes. By the time it was over my arms looked like that of a depressed, self harming, emo. I do not like giving Mr.McNugget bathes. Mr.McNugget does not like having bathes either. Ever since he was a little kitten he has kicked up a stink over bath times. Here's a picture of him the first time I ever gave him a bath:

He's soo cute!

The End is near, ComplainativeBastard Food!

Warning: The world is going to end in approximately 1 year and 37 days. So I have taken to buying food in jars to survive this disaster. Just Saying :)xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

ComplainativeBastard Preserved Food,
It's the Complainative Food Source. 

This Jarred food is available for purchase at your local supermarket. Terms & Conditions may apply. ComplainativeBasterd will not be held responsible for any illnesses, injuries or deaths.

The Cat show

Yesterday I took Mr.McNugget to a cat show- no, hold on. Don't judge me yet. I'm not one of those crazy cat people that treat their cats like Barbie dolls.- there was a $1000 cash prize for the best cat. I knew I had it in the bag, Mr.McNugget is the most adorable, friendly and well behaved cat I know. And I know quite a few cats (okay only about 3, but who's counting?). Anyway, guess what (you'll never guess, it's bloody ridiculous) Mr.McNugget... Did not win! I know, I know. Hardly believed it myself really. They said that he was the most under groomed, intolerable, ugly (that one was quite harsh really), badly mannered, misbehaved, smelly (now they're just being mean), disgusting, grumpy, hideous, ridiculous-looking, stupidest cat they have ever met. But what would they know about cats anyway? Stupid cat show judges with their PHD's in cat phsicology. Pfffft!

I mean, look at this picture of him, he's adorable!

I hate children!

Recently it has come to my attention that I hate children. This last week I have had to look after a sick orphan child whom I nearly hit with my car whilst driving to the liquor store for more booze. Luckily for him I missed my target by about a meter ( what can I say? I was drunk) and he got away unscathed. Alas, some natty old woman witnessed the whole thing and threatened to call the PO-PO. So I lied and told her he was my grandson and I wasn't trying to run him over, we were just having a little fun. With that I had to load the skinny little runt into my car and take him home with me...
And for the past 5 days he has been eating me out of house and home, sneezing and coughing all over my furnishings, terrorising Mr.McNugget and ruining all my delicate linens. Not to mention forgetting to wipe, flush and wash hands after using the bathroom!
Tonight I've promised him I would take him to Mister -Mc Funnigins -Funhouse -Play -Centre- for -Fun -Kids. What he doesn't know is that I plan to leave him there...
Good riddance!!

The truth about ComplainativeBastard

You heard it here first, I'm writing a book. All about me! From my troubled childhood to my days as a famous swimsuit model. Also featuring the infamous car chase scene with Mr.McNugget and details of my movie. All the secrets about me will be reveled (for the low price of $99.99) with this special one time offer. My book is due to be released on Christmas Day this year. Order now!

(original price $100)

A day in my house

I thought I might write a bit of touching, deep poetry. So here goes:

A day in my house,
Complaining.
Mr.McNugget,
Complaining.

Sleeping with the roaches,
Complaining.
Doin' the laundry,
Complaining.

Watching television,
Complaining.
Eating my dinner,
Complaining.

Complaining.
Complaining.
Complaining.

I think I should get an award for doing more frequent blog posts than most other blogs...
Just Saying :)xoxoxoxoxoxo

Warning! Complainative Man!

Recently it has come to light that there is another Professional Complainer out there who goes by the name of "Complainative Man". This guy is a fake! His blog is nothing but a complete rip-off of mine. He's trying steal my life. Not to mention his pet cat Mr.McFlurry (gasp)! For months he has been copying me and my goings-on. But the buck stops here! If you ever see him or hear from him, just know that he is an impostor. I have supplied a picture of him and is cat so you know who the fake guy is:

This guy is such a phony, and his cat is just hideous!

P.S. "Complainative Man" if you are reading this, (and I know you are because you always read my posts and then copy them) I am on to you and you wont get away with plagiarising my blog. If you continue to copy me I will give you a telling off you will never forget (just ask Mr.McNugget, he will know all about that). I just had a new pacemaker put in and, trust me Mr, I will bring the pain!

My New body

For the past 3 months I've been trying to get into shape by dieting and using my ab-blaster-3000. And it has finally paid off. Oh, and Mr.McNugget has been using it too. Look at us now:

More Fan Art (ugh)

Well, I'm appalled really. The man who sent this in was 68 years old. But Mr.McNugget made me put it on, he thinks he looks "Rad".
Just Saying:)xoxoxoxo

Mr.McNugget is naughty

That blasted cat! I leave him alone for one month while I make my movie and what does he do? He goes and gets another makeover without me authorising it. While I was gone he managed to get into my hair dye kit and his fur is now green. I'm so angry because I was specially saving that colour for when I feel like being a broccoli. That naughty little blighter! I suppose he thinks he looks cool. Now I have to get another makeover so that we match (yes that does mean I'm going to dye my hair-or what's left of it- green).
If you have never seen a green cat before I warn you now- it is not pretty. Those of you with weak constitutions may want to look away:

ComplainativeBastard Movie

Yes that's right. The reason I haven't been blogging as much lately is because I've been busy making a movie all about myself. It was going to be so awesome but, sadly, it did not make it to the box office. Something about there being too much swearing and abusive content. Anyway, we decided to remake it (at great expense) but that didn't go according to plan either because no one would do their job properly. They kept saying that I don't pay them enough (I really don't see what their problem is because I don't pay them at all!) and they say I complain too much (pfft, as if. I wish they would have just shut up and done their jobs). So because of their lack of tolerance for my profession (seriously, complaining is an art that is yet to be recognised) I had to fire them all! Left broke and without a movie crew, I had to call it quits :(
Sadly I can't show anyone the original movie because it is illegal in most countries. But Mr.McNugget took some photos:

Avocados are evil

Just look at it!

Okay, okay, I know. It's weird.
Wiki-wiki word, fresh!

New Zealands Next Top Model

I was not watching it last night or anything like that but I can't believe that Tyne was eliminated. Like OMG she was my favourite model. Not that I follow Top Model or anything. But her incredible knack for Complaining totally won me over. I mean, that girl could complain about anything, from haircuts to people stealing her seat. She's awesome. Not that I watch Top Model... er... Mr.McNugget turned it on...yeah, it was Mr.McNugget, he likes to watch things like that.
Just Saying :)xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The how well do you know ComplainativeBastard quiz

1. what is his favourite colour?
2. what is his pet dogs name?
3. what is his favourite activity?
4. who is his least favourite person in the world?
5. where does he like to holiday?
6. what brand of undergarments does he wear?
7. what is the pattern on his favourite pair of socks?
8. can he dance?
9. what is his ex-wife's name?
10. what is the name of the fat man he sat next to on the plane?
11. who is not his favourite rap artist?
12. who hates swimming?
13. describe ComplainativeBastard in 3 words:
14. does he eat lemons?
15. what makes him laugh?
16. what is his favourite TV programme?
17. what is his most recent catch phrase?
18. who is ComplainativeBastards sworn enemy?
19. what does he do for a living?
20. is this a trick question?

ANSWERS: 1.grey 2.does not have a pet dog 3.complaining 4.ComplainativeMan who always trys to copy ComplainativeBastard 5.los vegas 6.what underwear? 7.stripes with christmas bells that jingle merrily 8.no, but every day he is shuffling... but not very well 9.Fanny-Lulu Figglestein aka (WingeingWench) 10.Mo Lester 11.Wayne King 12.Mr. McNugget 13.com, plain and ative 14.heck no! 15.nothing 16.Jersey Shore 17. wicky wicky wanc, spanc! 18.ComplainativeMan 19.complain 20. heck no, is this a trick answer? 21. yes

Lemons

I don't really like Lemons. They are just so yellow and happy looking on the outside, but on the inside they are sour, hateful little fruits! Kind of like me, hmmm...

Fat bas- er... people

Welcome back to my blog. As you may have noticed I haven't been blogging much these last weeks. That is because Mr McNugget and I have been on holiday. And may I just say... My holiday was a complete disaster! It started on the aeroplane (we were flying to my favourite city in the world, Los Vegas) and I was randomly seated next to... A Fatty! It. Was. Horrible. I literally had NO room. I practically had to sit in the aisle! So I decided to cut the trip short and I grabbed Mr. McNugget and a parachute and jumped off that fatty filled plane!
Sadly I landed in the middle of the Pacific ocean and it took two weeks to get home. That was my holiday.

Just Saying :)xoxoxoxoxoxo

Complainative Nugget

Some person told me to "Cut the head off my favourite pet, and stick it on my body." I was like, WTF? But I did it anyway:

I know, I know. Disturbing right?

Hacked

Oh ha ha, very funny Mr. McNugget. It seems he has hacked my blog. Please ignore the previous blog post about wanting to look like Lady GaGa.
...Now it's time to put Mr. McNugget in time out.

GaGa

I wish I looked like this:

Mr. McNugget's new look -version II (that's roman numerals for 2)

Mr McNugget has had another makeover!! Wow, doesn't he look stylish! All the girl cats will be after him when they get a look at him! Daaaamn! Wiki wiki word, fresh!

He looks totally babin'! (That's my new word, babin!)

The Biebs

Ever wondered what I'd look like as Justin Bieber? Well wonder no more because the worlds best photoshop artists have done it!

How dare they! Trying to merge me with Justin Bieber, it's ridiculous. Oh well, at least I can pull it off, I suit the swooshy bowl cut emo fringe way better than he does!

My make over

Yes, I have had another makeover. Now that I'm older I thought I'd better start dressing my age:

I think I look rather dashing.

The all-in-one sweater-jumpsuit!

Actually, I have no idea what this is. It kind of looks like...um... yeah I don't know.

ComplainativeBastard T-Shirts

Also, new in store- ComplainativeBastard T-Shirts! Made by Mr. McNugget and retailing at only $99.99c each, these T-Shirts are a must have for all you fashionistas out there! Luxuriantly soft on your skin, the T-Shirt is specifically designed not to give you a rash! Buy Now while they're on sale!

ComplainativeBastard Masks

Be the first of your friends to get a ComplainativeBastard Mask. I made them all myself (with help from Mr. McNugget).