Recently it has come to my attention that I hate children. This last week I have had to look after a sick orphan child whom I nearly hit with my car whilst driving to the liquor store for more booze. Luckily for him I missed my target by about a meter ( what can I say? I was drunk) and he got away unscathed. Alas, some natty old woman witnessed the whole thing and threatened to call the PO-PO. So I lied and told her he was my grandson and I wasn't trying to run him over, we were just having a little fun. With that I had to load the skinny little runt into my car and take him home with me...
And for the past 5 days he has been eating me out of house and home, sneezing and coughing all over my furnishings, terrorising Mr.McNugget and ruining all my delicate linens. Not to mention forgetting to wipe, flush and wash hands after using the bathroom!
Tonight I've promised him I would take him to Mister -Mc Funnigins -Funhouse -Play -Centre- for -Fun -Kids. What he doesn't know is that I plan to leave him there...
Good riddance!!
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