Neighbourhood Villains

Recently I've been having a bit of trouble with juvenile delinquents in my community. You see, I live in a boring old town in the middle of nowhere so there is nothing for today's youth to do but turn to a life of crime. From thieving to vandalism, these young troublemakers are doing it here, there and everywhere. And I've had about enough of it! The other day I caught those hooligans playing football on my front lawn. Now, I know that I'm the only person on the street at the moment who actually bothers to keep my lawns tidy, and there really is not any other suitable place for kids to play football. But I'll tell you one thing: I hate sharing! If those kids want to play football, they better go find somewhere else to do it because the front lawn is reserved for mine and Mr.McNugget's croquet tournaments every other Tuesday, and I can't have the lawns being all mangled and uneven when I'm trying to hit my balls into the holes. I told them as much, the day I caught them doing it during breakfast one morning. I ran out there to give them a right telling off (still wearing only my dressing robe, but I took my walking stick with me to make myself seem more threatening). They were not deterred though, for they came back about an hour later with spray paint and marked out an actual pitch on the grass. That was the final straw! I needed to up my game, so I installed spy cameras in every corner of my garden... Then realising that that wouldn't do shit to scare them away I decided to just go ahead and call the police. They managed to take care of it... for about five seconds. The little bastards were let off with no more than a slap on the wrist and a ring home to their parents. And as it turned out, they were rather pissed off at me for calling the cops and this happened:

I now host weekly Football games at my house for all the bored teens of the neighbourhood.
Just Saying :)xoxoxoxo